1 May 23'

Privacy: anonymous

Hey x,

In recent months, I've developed a habit of reading the newspaper as a change of pace in my daily routine as well as to learn something new. In retrospect, it seemed helpful at the time, but as time passed, I realized I had a pessimistic outlook on life in general. My approach to doing things and communicating with people is based on whether there is anything in it for me. 

Whether I was checking the headlines about local events or observing general headlines, I always sought the most abhorrent and emotionally provoking stories. Whether it was murder cases and accident victims, assault cases, or corrupt politicians, I left no stone unturned. 

Overexposing the brain to unmounted levels of similar news every day, I slowly started becoming desensitized to it. People die every day, so why bother trying for the limited time you'll live? I felt myself losing hope and inspiration.

Even now, I recall flipping through the pages of TOI, as my heart sank deeper reading about the 23 people who succumbed to death. 9 of them passed away due to a road accident, and 7 more crashed head-first into a bus. 6 more died while conducting repair work on the railway electrical lines, they were charred to death. In just the last few days, a 16-year-old girl, barely my age, met her untimely demise at the hands of a monster, who stabbed her over 20 times while repeatedly smashing her face with a brick.

She was robbed of her life. I can't fathom the pain and terror she must have experienced in her last moments. It's heartbreaking and I can't help but think her life really mattered to those around her, who were living witnesses to the ongoing homicide. At our cores, we're just wired to put ourselves, our well-being, and our gains before anybody else. 

Delhi sure has become the hotspot for all freak accidents and other reported killings. It just proves that we're living behind a façade. Our houses which are supposed to be our ‘safe haven’, as well as the town and locality that bustles with daily life, none of that really matters. We're just deluding ourselves to think that it's going to be another bright sunny day.

Having a pessimistic mentality has taken a toll on my relationship with my parents, my friends, and all my close peers about me. Despite all that even though it might take years to grow out of this mentality, it'll still be more fruitful than the efforts that our country has been putting in for the welfare and security of its citizens.

1:30 PM, 1th May 23'

Yours truly






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