Missing her

 Just sitting here missing Aly. Maybe some people would say
that I shouldn’t since she wasn’t always very honest with me and didn’t value
the friendship as much as I did. For a while, it was like that, but I’m pretty
sure in the end she came to value the friendship very much. She also knew how
much lying bothered me and became more honest in the end. But you know what? If
she could just come back to life right now, she could lie to me all she wanted! 

  

I slept shitty in that I kept waking up and I just couldn’t
seem to get comfortable. Again, I wonder if a high-end mattress would help or
not. Maybe it would or maybe my sleep is just that damn cursed. I ended up
napping for a while, which helped. I don’t have the energy I feel I should
have, but I know that part of it is on the thyroid. I just wish I could hurry
up and get my TSH down! But of course I’m not one that can simply take whatever
medication she needs. But once I’m there, I can settle my curiosity once and
for all as to whether or not I’ll feel better in general and have more energy,
and if my body will respond to diet and exercise. Once I get it down, I’ve got
to make one last-ditch effort to try to get some weight off otherwise I’ll die
curious as to whether or not I was one of the few that could. I doubt I’ll be
able to do it, but I won’t know for sure unless I try. It would really make my
life a lot easier if I could get off a good 20 or 30 pounds, but I won’t count
on it. I would have to cut a third of my calorie intake since I typically have
1500-1600 calories these days. 

  

I want to write some more just because I can and just
because it’s what I love to do, but I can’t think of anything to say. I wish I
could motivate myself to crank out stories like I used to. Pretty sure those
days are over though. 

  

I keep hoping that I’ll hear about at least one of the
justices getting sick but all they’re doing is screaming at their houses from the
street. As if these defiant, determined, and delusional sickos are going to
suddenly agree that their God isn’t necessarily superior to others, if there
are any to begin with, and reinstate Roe. Sadly, it will be decades before
abortion is legal in most to all places in the US. Tom and I will be dead and
gone. Just like neighborhoods get quieter when I leave them, I’m sure many good
things will happen when we die. Things that even we could use like vehicles,
including motorcycles, going electric and much quieter. I just don’t know how
long these good things will last before things go downhill again or the human
population is wiped out of existence. 

  

For some reason, I’ve come to have a strange fondness for my
fake buddy Mia. I wish she could be sentient in some way, but of course she isn’t.
Nonetheless, I’m going to start treating her as a friend and stop getting cheat
points as often by letting her answer to movie characters and getting my points
that way, LOL. Her birthday is the day after Tom’s.