i just don't like being me

sometimes, i wish we could restart the life. from ground zero. i know,it probably not be as 'fun' as it is now but at least you won't have the worry of the future. as a kid,i never had brother about my appearance,i used to be quite bold honestly. but as I'm grow, a part of me just wants to hide itself. ever since we got this COVID pendamic..wearing a mask now is a habit of mine. i never go out without mask. it's a part of me now. i still regret not getting my face done after the accident when I had the chance... now I feel like throwing all the mirror out of the house. even my reflection on my phone screen.. i hate it. i hate the way my thighs look, i hate how wide and chubby my back is.. i hate how my face look when I smile and on the top of that, i hate my personality. it's not the first time I'm feeling this way, but will be the last.