Frustrated

 I only walked down about 10 houses worth this morning and
then ran back up. I breathed in the stench of smoke on the way down and up. I
swear there weren’t nearly as many smokers in the old place as there are here. 

  

Less than a year in and it’s already noisier
with all the projects and barking. Funny,
though, how he said that if we go rural and the neighbors are up to no good, we
can’t do anything about it. But we can’t do anything about it right here.
I get his point in that you’re likely to have more problems there than here and
how it’s safer here, but still. If T decided to run a dogfighting ring, D blasted in and out, and S let his mutt bark round the clock, what
could we do about it? Complain and get sent to jail if one of them has a cop
pal or be told to do a $1000 upgrade because someone in the office is besties
with one of them?  

  

Believe me, I hate
the complex the past has put on me and I know a stronger person wouldn’t let
the past dictate the future, but it’s not that easy. It does get to me at
times, though, that 6 people on the Supreme Court can tell millions of women
what to do with their lives and bodies, and I can’t even get one person
to control their fucking dog. Just one person.  

   

Why does this always happen to me? Just why? Every single
fucking place I go gets noisier until I’m about to leave it. I swear yesterday
was almost like the old place without the traffic. Yes, it can and has been
much worse, but I didn’t come here for this. I don’t care if his dog barks less
than 30 seconds at a time. Just the fact that I hear it every single day really
gets to me. I don’t make him hear anything of ours regularly. 

  

They put the roof on the day before yesterday and that wasn’t
too noisy. Just a few rounds of mild pounding. I thought they were done with
the place, but they did work on it yesterday as well and the pounding got to
the point where it was distracting. 

  

It’s a crisp, cool morning out at 68 degrees, so I have a
couple of windows open. I’ll shut them when the temperature rises or the
projects and barking get too annoying, whichever comes first. 

  

Really surprised that Texas of all states wants free speech
online. I would think a state like that would do the exact opposite. Still,
with all the crazy laws, restrictions, and all the little sensitives out there and
their poor, poor little fragile eggshell feelings, I’m afraid to even breathe
online these days.