feeling is weird

🖤i don’t know how to be normal and how to have nice things without being me and being greedy. i want so desperately, but it’s not mine to want. am i overthinking? maybe. but i know it’s not what i want it to be, and for that, i don’t want to exist right now. i just want to sleep for like a month or two, wake up refreshed and regulated. i know what it is, but yet i want more. i am ultimately a waste of space right now. i don’t know what to do. i like the way things are, but i get to hopeful. i know i get too hopeful, i can’t help it. i am a rat of a human being. a bird. a mouse. i just live off the breadcrumbs because they’re all i’ll be able to get. i feel too deeply. how do i stop? can someone help me? like i need to stop feeling so deeply. genuinely. it’s not going anywhere i want it to go🖤