10:30 ,June 17th, Saturday , 2023

Privacy: public

This is around 3 years later from my original date of last writing(last successful writing if i say so). Back then I started to write and doodle in my books because of lack of friends hence I needed to say but had no one to talk to (the few friends i did have were busy , so i didn't want to annoy them a lot)

Fast forward 3 years I am now completely done with my college and i needed to speak , though having plenty of ears to listen this time around , just writing and speaking to myself is now my favourite way .

A couple of pointers before i start , 

a)i am terrible in writing and will make grammatical and spelling mistakes as we go on , I am aware  

b)And i like to draw , so I might add an image or two in each exert to give better visuals 

c) i had something but I forgot 

d) a lot of u , might not know me , and i don't like reintroductions so i wont be doing that , my original 3 journals had good intro of characters/environments/events , I'll be giving those here again as time comes, but not of myself :)





(immediatly after writing the above line i realised what i'll be missing while i write digitally , i love the feel of pen on paper, the roughness of my drawings , i dont need it to be good/final, cause it compliments my shitty handwriting and presentation, it is the only time , where i am truely free.)

Sooooo, after i write this page . i'll buy a book and print this out and stick it , i might not have said this already , i am pretty lazy and focused. so if I don't write about what i am thinking rn , i will never. 


Here we GOOOOOOOOO (for real this time):

10:47 pm Sat June 17th 


i just entered my flat alone after seeing Av-nosh(Flatmate) off (all names will be different from the real ones, not for privateness but for my fun's sake), he left with Vadnan and his friends for Tosh via Hydrabad . Bz and Suyush (our friends ) had left for Himachal on college trip this morning. Gooda (my other flat mate, left a month ago , but we met him last 3 days ago since he came to city to party{on 13th I think}) . [Nazi Gang shoutout]


Vadnan also left as stated before , Chidori left on 15-16th i think , Prey his Ex, left 2 weeks ago, Kuchu is still here and we are supposed to meet tomorrow.


In juniors , Aran left for his house in navi mumbai, AssDeep (super jurnior left for Chhattisgarh  a week ago , we had to push our dnd sesh online because of him). Yamin and I-shan went for the college trip too. Fruit lives near my house , i need to get his gift ready for him , from our batch to him , we're giving him a foosball tabel a small one , Av-nosh, Gooda and i found it (from our neighbors) .

enough with the introductions , all u need to know is that i am alone rn , all my friends have left for different adventures , and we all said the same thing , we will KIT and meet again , but  the same had been said to me by my school friends, and in all fairness a lot of them did , but now we all have new adventures , jobs / internships / masters (for a few) , so we might not , and i am okay with that , life happens , it won't be the worst thing if my friends are living it to the fullest , i myself don't reply too often to my old friends  group texts, via text, idk why but I don't, i give my presence and i try to KIT every now and then , but not to much extent.


Idk why i started to write again to be fair , all i recall is Av-nosh saying before leaving the apartment , “ college khatam nahi hua hai , convocation baki hai , september me bhi milenge tab bhi  (cause we have to trade our ID for alumni card) ” This really stuck with me. i was getting teary and i think Av-nosh got that hence he said it. i went to see him off till he got an auto ,  cause i wanted this moment of me with a friend to last longer. after he left i slowly walked back . (i felt the same feeling 3 years ago , when my parents left me in mumbai and i had to go up to mantri Serene {our old flat}) 

I went to the gujrati store under my building to get a familiarity of my college life , and when i walked inside my flat i felt so alone for a few moments. i decided to write again to have have someone with me (even a text version of myself)

Fortunately Dangi (Silica friend{design institute}) my Best friend , called me up and we have been talking , and i have been writing side by side , we are sharing college stories . and chilling.


Tomorrow I am going to a ramen restruent with kuchu and that might be my last offline contact with someone from college 


I want to cry a little to let it out , but my body isn't allowing it , probably because , it's so bittersweet since i remember all the good times.

~end for today


P.S. after writing this I liked the experience, whether I liked the structure of article over books , or it was just writing in general


This is VR000M signing off.  


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