anonymous
Privacy: anonymous


 Yesterday we decided to bomb the place after all. First, a
spider jumped out and scared the shit out of me, and we have a lot of little
flying bugs due to the humidity. We only had to be out for two hours, so we
drove around and then ended up at BK.   

Someone was definitely next door as T noticed someone painting
their carport the other day. They also shut their bathroom window.   

Anyway, I was a little jittery but it was my own fault for indulging in a wee bit too much fudge. So my heart was a little racy yesterday and I felt warm. And then the fatigue set in big time. Even though I only slept 5 hours yesterday, I started off with decent enough energy. In the middle of my
day, though, it started hitting me.   

Finally fed up with the extreme fatigue that’s been worse
for about a year now, I decided to let my docs in on it. They made a new case
for that as well as for hypertension. They asked me to take some blood pressure
readings for them and I did. It was probably high, though, because of the stress
and extra sodium. I told them it’s usually lower when I wake up and that my old
doc decided against blood pressure medication because she felt it would make me
dizzy since my readings are better at the beginning of my day. Plus, there’s
the medication phobia. Yes, that’s gotten better, but I’m still prone to side effects,
whether I like it or not and I don’t want to go on medication at this time.   

They asked if I had ever partaken in a sleep study because
they wondered if I could have sleep apnea. I told them no and that it would be
hard for me to get meaningful results in a sleep study because of my unique
sleeping situation where I have trouble falling asleep and have to sleep with
the sound machine on. I guess I might be able to do one eventually at home if
it doesn’t cost too much, but I doubt I have sleep apnea. T pointed out there’s
a thing on Fitbit that measures your oxygen rate in your sleep. It’s a graph in
which blue is better than orange. I only had a few orange peaks. Nothing that
smacks of an unhealthy trend.   

They asked about snoring, and I do snore, but lightly. I’m
not like T where you can hear it through walls. Thunder didn’t wake me up as
expected last night, but a power failure woke me up. It was the second one we
had, too. The first one happened when I was awake. I hope I’m not going to get
as many wake-up calls from that as I do thunder. Anyway, I woke up the instant
the power went out and I did notice that yes, I was softly snoring.   

I also filled out some standard questionnaires and was asked
about alcohol consumption and whether or not I’ve ever had any EKG or stress
test. I told them I had both in 2016 and then they asked about anyone having
serious heart issues before the age of 50 in my family. I told them about my
father and the fact that one of my grandfathers died of a heart attack just
over 50.   

They’re going to be sending me to the lab. They want to check my TSH and also my iron levels and look for antibodies that could indicate either infections or inflammation. It will be interesting to see what my TSH is which I’d guess is 11-point-whatever.   

I don’t have a guess as to what could be causing my fatigue,
but I don’t think it’s serious. I want to say it’s my TSH but then why didn’t I
have such fatigue when I was first diagnosed? I was so tired that I slept for
nearly 10 hours and got a good sleep score. As usual, though, I didn’t wake up
feeling that refreshed.   

I’m just so glad I have this team to exchange all this
information with. I could never have done this through a portal with a regular
doctor/patient setup.   

So I peeled off the nail stickers from my big toes expecting
quite a mess underneath, but nope. The lacquer really does kill fungus. My
fingernails have me completely mystified though. I still see redness and I
still have sensitivity where the fingertip meets the nail. If it was just a
chemical reaction, shouldn’t it be better by now? But I don’t see how a fungus
or infection of any kind could spring up that fast either. I still have plenty
of lacquer on hand and tons of refills, though, if it doesn’t go away.   

After Burger King (I only got hash browns) we stopped at
Walgreens. I got some wine but no treats. I’ve had enough sugar. Since we still
had time to kill, we sat in the driveway for a while. The humidity gives all
the houses a drenched look as if it just finished raining. Once the sun comes
up, it dries it up.   

I came up with a cover story to have M contact N, but
she never replied to the message. I’m sure she saw it, even though I can’t see
that she did. I said… I believe we could be related. My father was Robert Lucke
and was married to my mother for 20 years. Somewhere during the marriage, he
took up with a mistress. Although I can’t get my mother to talk about it, he
supposedly started a family with this woman until he died of a heart attack in
her bed. They had two daughters, Vivian and Marion. They would be in their 50s
or 60s today. I live in New Mexico, but his mistress is from Europe. I was
never told which country, but seeing the German writing on your profile makes
me wonder if it could be you. The name and the age in your photos looks right
as well.   

I don’t know if she suspects I’m behind the account. I added
some religious memes and chose a royalty cover photo of a Hispanic-looking
woman with three kids. There is a hand holding beach shells for the profile
picture.   

I’m now unsure as far as the termite goes. I went through
everything that’s public and she has shit spanning back to 2010. Of course, one
of the posts had to be the photos she took of me when we visited her that I
specifically asked that she not make public, but I don’t care at this point. Most
of what’s public is the usual shit she would post. Self-comforting memes, memes
about being screwed over, praise for the Sarasite, her mommy and Daddy in
heaven, the angels that watch over her, etc.   

It could be that she's had this stuff public all along and
didn’t recently make it public, but I just never noticed when we were
connected. I didn’t have another account to look in on her as I had no reason
to. I also wouldn’t notice if she’s allowed anyone to comment on her posts all
along. So she still might not have seen the message and might not have recently
changed any settings.   

I can’t get rid of the pictures she took and shared, but I
really wish there was a way to get rid of all comments and likes between a
person. I don’t understand why they’re showing up since I’ve blocked her.
Blocking is supposed to delete all likes and comments from the person, but
apparently, it doesn’t. That’s fucking Facebook for you. It’ll take time, but I
could slowly go through my activity log and delete some things.  

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