Feeling numb again

Privacy: public


Yesterday i cried. Yet again. I am going to be 32 soon and i haven't married yet. The pressure and influx of thoughts of being lonely and then pressure from parents and society is s much that i want to run away. But i don't just want to get married for the sake of it. I want to fall in love but more than that I want to be loved passionately. I want to know what it feels like to become center of someone's life. I want to have one person who can't live without me. I think i am good enough person once someone gets to know me. I am not the prettiest to catch attention wth one look. Neither i am extrovert enough who can charm someone with flirty talk. I really hoped someone to find me and love me for who iam. And if won't happen i would be fine still if i could live alone than be forced to compromise to settle for just anyone.   but as of today i should get out of dreamy land and stop waiting for love. I am going to get married whoever my parents find for me and whoever settles for my plain outer shell. 

Today i a heartbroken. Why was i was given a soul of hopeless romantic if love was not written in my cards… 

Tags:

More Journal of this Author

More Journals To Read

Grief
anonymous
i wish to die
anonymous