wish for us

likklelost
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It has been three long and dreadful years without the both of you. Our memories together constantly plague my thoughts and as hard as I try, I still cannot stop missing you. 

The both of you have probably moved on with your lives with new people and new friends who have had a much easier time understanding you than I did. The friendship was easy, but our problems weren't. I find it unbelievable. Our first major fight and we couldn't even get past it and work through it. I'll give us grace for the fact that we all tried. We worked to save what I believe was a strong bond. A sisterhood.

I've moved on with life too. The people I've met and bonded with have never shared the deep emotional intimacy that scratched and relieved the loneliness I've been battling for my entire childhood. Never having friends that I could fully be myself with till the both you became my best friends. The abrupt halt to our family felt like I was slowly being tortured. Everyday that we didn't go back to what we were was like God was punishing me for all my sins. That my punishment was a sisterhood that I had prayed for since a child being taken away from me.

I still love the both of you immensely. My first heartbreak, not romantic but platonic. My family away from my hell at home. My peace, my beautiful, kind, special friends. Even writing this feels so pathetic but I don't want to pretend like what happened to us didn't affect me. I thought and hoped that I would move on from this but I haven't. It's really times like these that I'm glad that I chose to keep some of our photos and videos. I look at how we were just so filled with love when we were all together. Just us three.

There are a lot of things that I wish for but at this present moment, I wish that all three of us can reunite and be best friends again. Just like it was before. Just us three.

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