I’m not sure why I allow myself to be hurt by you. You have this invisible power over me and I fucking hate it, why do I allow myself to succumb to this pain. I don’t wanna cry over you anymore. You’ll apologize and then do it again. I know at some point I have to gain some self respect and self worth but when it comes to you I don’t know how. I don’t know how to detach from you…I don’t know how to quit you and I want too. I finally realized that you didn’t love me like I loved you. You didn’t love me at all, you liked the power I gave you and how I made you feel. It’s like you look back to see if I’m still chasing you. I hate that I love you&nbsp;

Never ending cycle 

I miss being in love…I miss being loved by you. I don’t know if you genuinely loved me, I doubt it but I like to believe you did. I was so madly in love with you; one might say I was hopelessly devoted to you. I’m not sure why I’m yearning for what once was, I guess I like living in delusion&nbsp;

Yearning for what once was

I really don’t have much to say, but I’ve decided to go no contact with my family and increase my therapy session to once a week. I’ve also started taking medicine again, and all I can say is I’ve never felt better. There has been a shift in my life and I’ve felt actually happy. It’s like I finally know peace. I hope things continue to go this way but even if it doesn’t I’m prepared to make it through. I will say that I’m emotionally unavailable to everyone but I do feel inner peace for myself

Start anew 

We were never really together, it was just a facade but during the brief time I had you in my life I felt alive. I hadn’t been happy in a long time and you really made me feel like I was enough. I know I shouldn’t have based my happiness on you, that wasn’t fair to you and with me doing that I created unreal expectations. In my mind you made me feel safe; I felt worthy of love for once and I truly thought I hadn’t been in or experienced love until you. I wish I could take it all back because now I’m emotionally unavailable. I don’t feel anything for anyone in my life anymore, friends and family included. I don’t blame you for that, I was hurt way before you but I think you were my last straw. My foundation of sanity started to crack when you left my life. My chest feels heavy nonstop and I just feel myself slipping away. Idk what’s happening to me but it’s scary, who knew one person could cause all this pain. I knew from the beginning you were lovebombing me and I know how that ends but I couldn’t leave, you were just so nice and I was falling hard. I had the chance too and I even tried to end things with you early on but you were so adamant about staying so I gave in. I’m not sure why I can’t let you go and move on, it’s never took me this long to detach from someone. Who knew that my little highschool crush from years ago could cause all of this emotional damage. I really want to forget you ever existed because this heartache isn’t worth it

Unavailable 

I thought I was over you… I truly did. I started eating again, I stopped rereading our messages wondering where I went wrong or what I could’ve did to stop you from leaving, I stopped counting the days since we last spoke, and I even started going to therapy. I did all these things to forget you and heal but I still find myself reminiscing about the small things and wondering what we could’ve been. I thought I was over you but I still wake up and hope that I’ll see a text from you even though I know that I never will. I still randomly cry and wish that I could go back and change things because all I ever wanted was you. I’m not sure why I want someone who doesn’t think about me at all and discarded me with ease. The scariest part about all of this is that now I wonder if I truly loved you or if it was just attachment and me mistaking it for love. I’m not used to basic kindness and care from others so when I get it I tend to cling to that person… you were my person H. My heart still hurts when I think about you, I just wish all the memories of you could just be erased so I can finally let go.

Attachment issues

Well it’s officially my birthday and I couldn’t be more sad. I only have myself to celebrate with. I have no contact with my family and it’s not like they would reach out. Idk why but I feel extremely empty inside and I just want everything to go away.&nbsp;

Heres to 22

It’s been 25 days since we last spoke. I know my last message to you said pretend I don’t exist and that you were my biggest heartbreak which is true, but maybe I could’ve worded it differently. I was hurt and still am but I miss you and wish we could talk but I also despise you; it’s a thin line between love and hate. I honestly just want closure. I still cry randomly during the day and confide in my best friend about my heartbreak. I love him so much for being my rock during this but I just wish I could move on. My heart hurts more at night, I start to think about everything and questioning what’s wrong with me and why I wasn’t enough. I’m tired of crying and being miserable. I’m tired of hurting and hating myself and tearing myself apart, questioning why I’m not worthy enough to be loved; only used for temporary entertainment and lust. I bared my heart and soul to you, let you into my mind. I thought you were my safe space but I couldn’t be more wrong. You are a user and horrible person yet I love you and hate you at the same time. H you broke me irrevocably and I just want to let all the pain and memories of you to go away&nbsp;

Day 25

Everyday I tell myself I’ll be okay and that I don’t miss you but the more I lie to myself the more it hurts. The love I had for you burned brighter than a thousand suns. I know it’s cliche but I never realized I found love before you, you were my twin flame. When I think about you my heart pangs and my eyes well up with tears. I truly believe that in another universe, in another timeline, in a different world, we were meant to be… I just wish you felt the same. I guess once upon a time you did but maybe it was just temporary lust for you. I think what hurts more is that I’m emotionally broken from this and I probably don’t even cross your mind and you’re just living life per usual with whoever the next lucky girl is; just the thought of you sharing the passion and love I thought we had with someone else makes me physically sick to my stomach and I just want to curl up and cry. You’ll move onto the next while I’m just reminiscing in pain and delusion about what I thought we had

I miss you 

You broke me completely but yet I still long for you. I can be doing random activities and my mind would drift to memories of you or how you made me feel and then a wave of sadness would hit me, most times followed by tears. This isn’t fair that I’m affected so deeply by you leaving and you can care less. It sucks being an afterthought in someone’s mind, you’ve probably moved on while I’m just wallowing in self pity. I loved you with every fiber of my being and I thought you loved me too. Well atleast you said you did but I truly find that hard to believe; I think you just loved that I loved you. I was just pure entertainment that you discarded when you got bored and that hurts because I expressed to you how others treated me that way and you promised not too. I don’t understand how you can love someone and leave so easily…did I really mean so little to you? My heart aches because I miss you so much. I hate feeling this way and I hate missing you; how can I miss someone who’s hurt me over and over. The sick part about all of this is you abandoned and broke my heart 3 times and yet I still wanted you…even now I feel like I need you and I truly hate this for me. I want to let you go but I don’t know how. It’s been almost three weeks since we last spoke and even after all the pain I still think of you everyday when I know you haven’t thought of me once since. It’s kinda crazy how you lovebombed me, said we were twin flames, said you loved and worshipped me, and then decided I wasn’t enough; you completely washed your hands of me. Despite all of your flaws I accepted you and I thought you accepted me as I was… I guess I was wrong. I want to let you and all the pain go but the sad part about this is if you came back I would still welcome you with open arms because the love I have for you burns brighter than a thousand suns. I miss someone who doesn’t care whether I’m alive or dead right now

My greatest heartbreak

I’m not really sure what to say or how to even start but I guess I’ll just go for it. I’ve been struggling recently with how my life has been and what I’ve become. I’ve been having a lot of highs and lows but mainly lows. To be completely honest I’m just lost and I don’t know what to do with my life; I’m 21 and I wasn’t expecting to make it this far so each day is just a battle. There’s so many thoughts that run through my mind and &nbsp;trying to cipher through them all feels like I’m drowning. I feel like each day I wake up I’m sinking and at this point I’m kinda tired of trying to make it to shore… I just want to descend to the bottom in peace. Idk, maybe things will change for me one day but right now as I lay in bed and type this my heart is heavy and I’m tired

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My inner turmoil 

&nbsp;<h2>Stylish Afghani Salwar Design: Where Tradition Meets Trend</h2>When it comes to blending heritage with haute couture, <a href="https://giadesigner.in/afghani-salwar-suit/">Stylish Afghani Salwar Design</a>&nbsp;steal the spotlight. Rich with cultural flair and timeless elegance, these outfits are more than just traditional wear—they're a bold fashion statement. Whether you’re dressing up for a festive celebration or just love making a statement with ethnic fashion, Afghani salwars are the perfect blend of comfort, style, and tradition.<h2>What Makes Afghani Salwar So Unique?</h2>Afghani salwars are known for their flowy silhouettes, pleated pants, and heavily embroidered tunics. Rooted in the tribal aesthetics of Afghanistan, these outfits often feature:Intricate threadwork and mirror embellishmentsVibrant colors like maroon, emerald, turquoise, and mustardLoose-fitting, ankle-length pants with wide pleatsStatement necklines and heavily worked sleevesThe standout feature? The Afghani salwar pants—often fuller and more dramatic than the regular salwar, offering unmatched grace and movement.<h2>Trending Afghani Salwar Styles in 2025</h2>Fashion keeps evolving, and Afghani salwar designs are no exception. Here are a few trending styles that are turning heads:<h3>1. Boho Chic Fusion</h3>A fusion of Afghani design with bohemian elements—think tassels, earthy tones, and oxidized jewelry. Perfect for music festivals or casual outings.<h3>2. Mirror Work Glam</h3>Embellished with hand-done mirror work and paired with a sheer dupatta, this look is ideal for sangeets and wedding events.<h3>3. Pastel Minimalism</h3>Modern Afghani suits are embracing softer shades like blush pink, mint green, and powder blue, with minimal embroidery for a sophisticated look.<h3>4. Jacket Style Kameez</h3>Add a front-open embroidered jacket to your kameez for that royal Afghani princess vibe. Works beautifully with both flat sandals and juttis.<h2>How to Style Your Afghani Suit</h2>Pair with Afghani jhumkas or chunky silver earringsAdd a belt to cinch the waist and modernize the silhouetteKeep makeup earthy—think kohled eyes and nude lipsLet your hair flow or braid it in a traditional fishtail for added flair<h2>Final Thoughts</h2>Afghani salwar suits are a celebration of culture, comfort, and creativity. Whether you're reviving your roots or just exploring ethnic fashion, there's an Afghani design for every soul. So next time you're looking for something unique yet timeless, give these regal ensembles a spot in your wardrobe. Trust us—you’ll look like royalty with roots.

Stylish Afghani Salwar Design

&nbsp;Discover the Wild Beauty of Odisha: A Journey Through Its National ParksOdisha, a vibrant state on India's eastern coast, is not only known for its rich cultural heritage and ancient temples but also for its lush forests, scenic landscapes, and thriving biodiversity. Nestled between the Eastern Ghats and the Bay of Bengal, Odisha is home to several national parks that serve as havens for wildlife and offer unforgettable experiences for nature lovers. Let’s explore the most prominent <a href="https://orissatours.com/wildlife-sanctuaries/">odisha national park</a> in Odisha and what makes each one unique.<h3>1. Simlipal National Park</h3>Location: Mayurbhanj District Best Time to Visit: November to JuneSimlipal is the crown jewel of Odisha's wilderness. Spanning over 2,750 square kilometers, it is a part of the UNESCO World Network of Biosphere Reserves. The park is home to majestic tigers, elephants, leopards, and over 230 species of birds. With rolling meadows, thick sal forests, and cascading waterfalls like Barehipani and Joranda, Simlipal offers an untouched paradise for wildlife photographers and trekkers alike.<h3>2. Bhitarkanika National Park</h3>Location: Kendrapara District Best Time to Visit: October to MarchOften referred to as the "Mini Amazon of India," Bhitarkanika is a unique mangrove ecosystem located along the Brahmani and Baitarani river deltas. It is one of the best places in India to spot saltwater crocodiles, including rare white crocodiles. Boat safaris take you deep into creeks and estuaries, where you can also see monitor lizards, spotted deer, and a dazzling array of migratory birds. It’s a birdwatcher’s and ecotourist’s dream.<h3>3. Nandankanan Zoological Park</h3>Location: Bhubaneswar Best Time to Visit: Throughout the yearWhile technically a zoo, Nandankanan also includes a botanical garden and is recognized as a sanctuary. It is famous for its successful white tiger and gharial breeding programs. Unlike typical zoos, Nandankanan blends seamlessly into the natural forest, giving animals a more natural habitat. The safari rides are a hit among visitors, offering a chance to see lions, tigers, and bears in open enclosures.<h3>4. Satkosia Tiger Reserve</h3>Location: Angul and Nayagarh Districts Best Time to Visit: November to MaySatkosia is where the majestic Mahanadi River carves through the Eastern Ghats, creating dramatic gorges and serene riverbanks. It’s one of the few places where you might spot both tigers and gharials. The reserve is ideal for eco-tourism, with options for river safaris, tent stays, and birdwatching. The blend of riverine and forest ecosystems makes Satkosia a biological hotspot.<h3>Why Visit Odisha’s National Parks?</h3>Rich Biodiversity: From mangroves to mountains, Odisha’s parks offer diverse habitats.Eco-tourism Opportunities: Sustainable tourism initiatives support local communities and conservation.Adventure and Relaxation: Trekking, boating, wildlife safaris, or simply soaking in nature – there’s something for everyone.<h3>Tips for Travelers:</h3>Always hire a certified guide for safaris and treks.Respect wildlife – avoid littering and loud noises.Book accommodations and park entry passes in advance during peak seasons.

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Odisha National Park

&nbsp;<h2>Explore Dublagadi Beach – Odisha’s Hidden Gem</h2>Tucked away from the typical tourist maps, <a href="https://orissaguide.com/bagda-sea-beach-dublagadi-balasore-odisha/">Dublagadi beach Balasore</a> is a peaceful escape where nature whispers and waves gently lap the shore. Just 30 km from Balasore and around 245 km from Kolkata, this untouched coastline promises a perfect blend of solitude, scenic beauty, and raw coastal charm.<h3>How to Reach Dublagadi Beach</h3>By Train: Catch the HWH SC SPL (02703) from Howrah to Balasore, departing at 8:35 AM and arriving around 11:38 AM. For the return, SC HWH SPL (02704) leaves Balasore at 1:53 PM and reaches Howrah by 4:53 PM.By Road: From Balasore, you can take an auto (₹600 approx) or hire a cab (₹1000–1500) to get to Dublagadi.<h3>Things to Do at Dublagadi Beach</h3>Sunrise &amp; Sunset Views: Watch the horizon come alive with stunning shades of gold and crimson at dawn and dusk.Leisurely Beach Walks: Take long, calming strolls across the wide sands and spot vibrant red crabs dancing along the shore.Camping Experience: Spend the night under the stars at eco-friendly spots like Galaxy Nature Camp—simple, scenic, and soul-soothing.Meet the Locals: Chat with the tribal communities, discover age-old fishing methods, and enjoy freshly fried fish with zesty Kasundi mustard sauce.Catch the Blue Tide: On new moon nights, witness the mystical glow of bioluminescent waves—a rare, unforgettable natural phenomenon.<h3>Where to Stay</h3>Dublagadi offers a range of budget-friendly stays, mostly eco-camps and cottage-style accommodations. An average overnight package costs around ₹1,300 per person, making it a great pick for backpackers and families alike.<h3>Best Time to Visit</h3>Plan your trip between October and March, when the weather is cool and pleasant—ideal for beach outings, camping, and exploring nearby spots.<h3>Nearby Attractions</h3>Bagda Beach: Another serene beach close to Dublagadi—perfect for a quiet afternoon or picnic.Kasaful Estuary: A peaceful riverside location where you can enjoy fresh seafood and observe local fishing traditions.&nbsp;&nbsp;<h2>&nbsp;</h2>

Dublagadi beach Balasore

i cooked an actual meal for myself. it was imperfect but delicious, like life.there was smoke and the food was a little burnt, a little too spicy. but i have learned what to do the next time i cook, for this one dish.

april 25th, 2025

&nbsp;Exploring Odisha Through Its Map: A Journey into India's Eastern GemOdisha, nestled on the eastern coast of India along the Bay of Bengal, is a state known for its rich history, stunning architecture, diverse wildlife, and vibrant culture. But to truly understand the depth and diversity of this beautiful region, one must start with the map of Odisha—a visual gateway into its geography, districts, heritage, and hidden treasures.<h3>1. Geographical Overview</h3>Odisha covers an area of approximately 155,707 square kilometers. The state is bordered by West Bengal to the northeast, Jharkhand to the north, Chhattisgarh to the west, Andhra Pradesh to the south, and the Bay of Bengal to the east. The map highlights a mix of coastal plains, rolling hills, dense forests, and fertile river valleys.<h3>2. Administrative Divisions</h3>The state is divided into 30 districts, each with its own unique identity and cultural significance. Major districts like Khordha (home to the capital Bhubaneswar), Cuttack, Puri, and Sambalpur play a key role in Odisha’s political, cultural, and economic life.Bhubaneswar, the capital city, is known as the "Temple City of India."Cuttack, the former capital, is rich in history and craftsmanship.Puri is famous for the Jagannath Temple and the annual Rath Yatra.Koraput and Malkangiri showcase Odisha’s tribal culture and natural beauty.<h3>3. Natural Landmarks</h3>Odisha is home to a variety of natural attractions, all easily identifiable on the map:Chilika Lake, Asia’s largest brackish water lagoon.Simlipal National Park, a tiger reserve and biodiversity hotspot.Bhitarkanika National Park, known for its mangroves and saltwater crocodiles.The Eastern Ghats, which run through western Odisha and offer rich biodiversity.<h3>4. Cultural and Historical Sites</h3>From the map, you can trace the trail of Odisha's glorious past through sites such as:The Sun Temple in Konark, a UNESCO World Heritage Site.Lingaraj Temple in Bhubaneswar.Udayagiri and Khandagiri Caves, ancient Jain rock-cut shelters.Dhauli, associated with the Kalinga War and Emperor Ashoka's transformation.<h3>5. Tourist Circuits and Travel Routes</h3>Using the map, tourists can plan circuits like:Golden Triangle: Bhubaneswar – Puri – Konark.Tribal Tourism in southern Odisha (Koraput, Rayagada, Malkangiri).Eco-tourism around Chilika Lake, Satkosia Gorge, and Simlipal.<h3>6. Why the Odisha Map Matters</h3>For travelers, students, and researchers alike, the <a href="https://orissatours.com/odisha-of-map/">Odisha map</a> is more than just a layout of land—it’s a guide to exploring a state that balances tradition with progress, spirituality with natural splendor. Whether you're planning a trip or studying its demography and development, the map offers valuable insights.Final Thoughts Understanding Odisha through its map is like unfolding a story of ancient kingdoms, sacred temples, lush landscapes, and a resilient people. Whether you're visiting for its beaches, temples, or festivals, let the map of Odisha be your first step toward discovery.

Odisha Map

&nbsp;Get Ready for the Upcoming Amazon Sale: Massive Discounts, Limited-Time Deals &amp; More!Are you ready to fill your cart without emptying your wallet? Amazon is back with one of its biggest sales of the year, and it’s the perfect time to grab those wish list items you've been eyeing! Whether you’re looking for the latest gadgets, fashion steals, home essentials, or beauty favorites, this <a href="https://giadesigners.com/amazon-upcoming-sale/">upcoming Amazon sale</a> is packed with unmissable deals.<h3>When is the Amazon Sale Happening?</h3>The upcoming Amazon sale is expected to go live on , running for&nbsp;full days of shopping madness. Early access might be available for Prime members, so make sure your membership is active to snag deals before everyone else!<h3>What to Expect: Categories to Watch</h3>Amazon never disappoints when it comes to variety. Here’s a sneak peek at what categories might feature deep discounts:Electronics: Smartphones, smartwatches, headphones, and accessoriesFashion: Up to 70% off on top clothing, footwear, and accessoriesHome &amp; Kitchen: Appliances, cookware, furniture, and home decor stealsBeauty &amp; Personal Care: Up to 60% off on top brandsBooks &amp; Stationery: Discounts on bestsellers, academic material &amp; journalsDaily Essentials: Grocery, health care, cleaning supplies and more<h3>Deals to Watch Out For</h3>While the exact offers are still under wraps, here’s what we’re expecting based on previous Amazon sales:Lightning Deals: Limited-time offers that are gone in a flashCombo Offers: Buy more, save moreBank Offers: Extra discounts with select credit/debit cardsExchange Offers: Upgrade gadgets at better prices<h3>How to Prepare</h3>Create or Update Your Amazon Wishlist – It helps to track price drops.Download the Amazon App – Stay on top of exclusive app-only deals.Set Alerts – Get notified when your favorite items go on sale.Compare Before You Buy – Use price trackers or review tools to make sure you’re getting the best deal.<h3>Final Thoughts</h3>The upcoming Amazon sale is shaping up to be a shopping bonanza. Whether you're a bargain hunter or just love the thrill of a good deal, this is your moment. Stay tuned, prep your cart, and be ready to click Buy Now—because deals this good don’t last long!

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Upcoming Amazon Sale

i grew up in a place without buses, or perhaps a place where i believed that the buses were not meant for me.now i meet the driver's eyes as he tells me to move to let other people pass. now i press the stop button when someone can't reach it. now i awkwardly wave someone more attractive to me toward an empty seat. now i feel more awkward when they let me have the seat.now i am surrounded by people that i don't know, people that i will probably never see again. i am lonely. i am in awe. i want to make connections but can't make the first step.

Yearning for what once was

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