to my dear mother,

the one who gave me life? or the one destroying it ? how can you forgive and forget him for everything he did to me but yet I don’t do anything wrong but for some reason I’m always in the way of your wrath. You insult me so easily yet expect me to forgive and forget with no apologies. You make me sick, you make me feel unworthy, you make me feel like everything you say about me is the truth! How can you say I don’t value myself yet call me out of my name? YOU’RE MY MOTHER yet act like a stranger due to your rage, but that’s not an excuse. You’re a grown adult almost 40 yet cant control your self? Especially towards your daughter. You made home feel unsafe, you made me come late so I don’t have to see you for much time. You make me lose love, for myself and those around me. you emotionally and physically drain me. I don’t hate you, I can’t, but I love you a little less every time. You make me not be selfish, like I can’t have or choose something for myself. And I HATE myself for it. I do everything to please you and when I finally want something for myself I’m the bad guy!? When I finally have love you want me to stop choosing it, now you want me to “give myself value”. I lost it the second I confided in you about your boyfriend(aka sisters dad) sexually assaulted me and YOU DID NOTHING. you let him live with us for many years and always put him first and above anyone, even your daughters. As a daughter and woman I don’t think I’ll ever forget, but I’ll forgive you for my sake… sincerely, your worthless good for nothing daughter.