I have tried hard all my life to break free. But I don't know what I need to break free from. I have always been scared. Scared of taking space, scared of imposing on others, scared of being in places I think I don't belong to, scared that I am asking too much. It's like I am living in a cage of fear.
To break free I became financially independent. But I am still caged, I still can't look people in the eye and say no.
To break free I moved far away from my blood relations. But their harsh words still bring the worst out of me.
I am scared all the time that someone would ask me to do something which imposes on my boundaries but I won't be able to refuse. I am scared that even though I have moved away from my toxic family I can't really break the blood bond and break away from the fear of their judgmental eyes.
I afraid I will end up becoming a slave for my future husband’s expectations.
I am so scared that I am suffocated. I am scared of being scared.
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