why I am here

I dated my ex for 2.5 years, and they broke up with me, saying that I am not giving them what they are looking for and they want to focus on their career and life. I was talking with them out of habit till yesterday. I am someone who talks to only one person, and I am okay with having just one person next to me. So, in those 2.5 years and the time before we started dating, I was only talking to them, and so I did not have a friend with who I could talk about my day and stuff. My ex knows that I do not have friends, so we often talk, just like we used to do in a relationship, sometimes for a whole day. Yesterday, while we were on call, they said, 'Why do you even talk to me?'. When I heard this from them, my heart just skipped a beat. This reminded me of my previous ex, who, five years back, had said the same thing to me on WhatsApp chat: 'Why do you message me?'. It just feels so heavy that I do not have anyone to talk to. I did not say anything to my ex yesterday when they said this to me. I asked them why they would ask me such a question. They said one of their friends said that if you talk to your ex, then you are still in a relationship. (I could imagine their friends saying something like this as their friends never liked me. When they first talked about me to their friends, all of them said that it is okay for now to spend time, but you can do better.) As I said earlier, I did not say anything to them on call. However, when I woke up this morning, it was unbearable. I just want someone to listen to me when I feel alone. I realized I can't talk to my ex because then I will never be able to get over them and it seems they don't want to talk to me. I never thought that I would need to use such a platform in my life to express my feelings, but I just want something where I can talk and people can listen (or may be read) to me. So I am here.