Am I the problem?

i feel like iam the problem, everyone around me is so differentin everything, i feel like i don't belong. but the current issue in my life is my belief, iam an atheist in a family full of devoted Muslims, especially my mom. months ago i made a big mistake that i regret everyday, i told her that i don't believe in her god anymore, i could take it anymore, she started crying, didn't talk tp me for a week or smth, i was so depressed especially thay i have a history of mental health/ depression issues, she knew and she didn't care , i ended up feeling like a little shit who made her mum sad and apologised to her, told her that if she wants me to believe in god i will for her. apparently that didn’t satisfy her, every time i talk to her about smth “not religion included just culture things that is wrong or any a bit of a controversial thing” the flips out, saying “you r someone who dared to dissobay and attack her god u r no good” and she cries and give me the silent treatment for sometime then come talk to me like nothing happened, this drives me crazy, i think she is setting me back every time i start feeling that im well and past depression, she makes me start to have thoughts i don't wanna have again, i don’t know if iam the problem, if iam just crazy idk iam just so tired