My old macbook was giving some trivial problems from past few weeks. The problems were like:

Some keys were pressed multiple times by one press. This caused major issue. Example: I was pressing single key to close browser tab. It closed multiple tabs.

Once in a month types, laptop shutdown without warning

Although, everything was working fine. Those were not the issues for which I personally buy a new laptop. But, the problems were really frustrating me sometimes.

Piyush(My manager) posted in our group, whether someone in need to replace their old out of warranty machines or problematic hardware.

I raised a service desk request for my laptop issues after that. The support guy straight away told me that your laptop was out of warranty, and I suggest you to raise request for new hardware. I conveyed same to Piyush. And, it got approved within few minutes. I was like, WOW.

And, would you believe, in evening, I got a call that they want to deliver the laptop to my home. I could not believe. I mean, such a ffast service.

Next day, 12:30 PM, I got the laptop in my hands. Thanks Adobe.

Got my new Macbook from Office

It was my quarterly feedback from Suman. We had a 1:1 meeting. I was not expecting good words from her, some intuitions.

You are doing good, infact very good. You have taken the ownership. You know whom to talk, how to talk, whom to involve. You are fetching people contact outside team as well. Thats good.

You are handling Shriya, Parag with nno conflicts. Thats good. 

You are asking people to take care of work, be it Parag or Mudit. 

You are looking after bigger picture of project. You are deciding which tech stack to choose, which LB, DB, infra, git etc.

You are doing good code reviews, there are always some comments. And, people are doing those changes.

You have prepared very nice document, that contained details. We normally doesn't do documents.

You have taken ownership of USB data validation, thats good. You are doing it with good responsibility.

1. Help us to kickstart the project. First cut of project. First cut is difficult, then team will handle. After that, you might be involved in other project.

2. Make an impact on external world, like write blog on security, ticketing, think of patents, think of new technologies, think of doing security belts etc.

3. Ensure team follows best practices, like PR review, branches standardization, PR templates, deployment workflow etc.

I was not expecting lot of good words. But, it was lot more than expectation.

I got quarterly Feedback - Checkin with Suman

Daksh had to speak on one of the Nobel Prize winners. We choose Albert Einstein.

Albert was a mathematician and physicist.

He won Nobel prize in 1921 and won the Copley Medal in 1925.

He won Nobel price for his explanation of Photo-electric effect.

I chose him because he was very smart in Maths and Physics.

Albert Einstein was born in March 14, 1879, Germany.

He faced lot of trouble in his childhood financially.

He also loved  to play classical music and violin.

After his death, doctors removed his brain for study.

They found that the area which is responsible for 3d visualization and mathematics was 15% wider than people who have normal intelligence.

Daksh's preparation for Nobel Prize Winner - Albert Einstein

My parents were here for a quick visit. They stayed here for around 10 days. They went back today.

They booked a bla-bla car, which is really a fantastic service. He was so confused on picking up which timing. I had to leave my running meeting in the middle to drop them. But, its ok.

Papa badly wanted both the kids to drop them. The time for the car was: 5:20 PM. Bhavika was sleeping. Papa went in the room and said something to Bhavika to which she wake up. But she slept soon.

So, when we were standing in front of the lift, I was almost iside the lift. I heared Bhavika's cry. I went inside, and took her with us as well. Papa was happy. Kanika was not :)

So, we reached there, and dropped them. Bhavika started crying, seeing her grand parents were going. All right. Bhavika cried 3-4 times while returning as well. She said cutely: "My Amma, My Baba ji".

I asked Daksh, aren't you feeling sad. He said, OK-OK. He never expressed himself. He really loves their company. Last. time, he cried badly. I haven't seen him lately cried for someone.

Parents went back. Overall a nice memory

Today, Rishab also left. I wrote his farewell notes, if I get a chance to speak.

Soft spoken guy. Chhota sa lagta tha, but he is close to 30!!

very dedicated. He should keep learning new things.

Hubble was a completely different domain from Bast. I think he did pretty well.

Apart from work, we discussed about smart watches, kahan ghumna hai.

But, couldn't get a chance to speak as people were just talking randomly this time. This is another person from Suman's team left.

Rishabh also Left Suman's team

It was Rishabh engagement, and we went there along with my parents, in a happy mood. Everything was going good. I was meeting people, handling kids. She was with mom.&nbsp;
She kept taunting, you are ot bringing anything for me to eat. I said, I also did not take anything. Waiters are roaming, take it from them. It continued.
At one moment, she came to me and asked for few photographs. I clicked few selfies of us. We went ahead at some other place for pics. I started clicking her solo pics.&nbsp;
I said, lets go. Ho gaya. She said in rudely voice, kahan hua, meri to ek bhi photo click nahi hui. I said, tab se tumahri hi to photo click kar raha hun. She continued talkig rudely. A guard was standing there, and was listening to her taunts. I said, he is listening and why are you creating a scene out of nothing. She just walk away.
And, after that my mood was also upset. I did not talk to her after that. I did not want to even sit with her.
I saw couples, saying nice things. In a lovingly tone. She only knows how to talk rude, and in a bossy way.

Its Rishabh's engagement and she fought again for no reason

My parents are here in Noida for few days. And, Kanika showed her real colors again. Not a single time, that she showed her behavior in front of them. She kept her close in her room. She came out only at the time of food preparation. Always scolding kids.
Today, parents said they will go on Friday. I wanted to cry in front of them, asking for help. That, please save me from Kanika. I do not want to live with her. I can not tolerate her. Why did you forced me to marry at such a small age. Why you never asked, how I'm living with her. They know her behavior problem.&nbsp;
I'm feeling so helpless sometimes. I generally avoid toxic people in life, whether in office or outside. I do not entertain them much. But, how can I escape from a person with whom I'm living in a house.&nbsp;
I never ever forced her to do anything. She always forced things, her taunts kills me from inside.&nbsp;

I want to cry in front my parents

Although, its not a good title. But, i"m really pissed off with Ankit. I'm already not a big fan of his lateness.

So, it started with a website work that he wanted. I brought Abhinav in between and let them work. Its been more than 2 months now. Abhinav is also doing stupid work by not completing a small website. 

Its me, who is bringing both of them on meeting. Its me who is telling to give Abhinav a Demo to them. They never come on time in meetings, they are not giving their social pages. They are not giving him their actual images that they want to use. They gave few images, that after repeatitive messages from me.

Its me, who bought their domain name, I purchased their web-hosting.

I did setup our last meeting to bring everybody on same page. Nobody came in that meeting, I was so angry with both of them. Actually, three of them. Shivam was also invited. 

I dropped a message on whatsapp, anybody coming? Abhinav responded 20 mins later. I was already exited the meeting. I did not reply. I had made my plan not to involve in any of their work.

Shivam called me, and said he was in some office work. I just said, you guys see yourself now.

I tried calling him few days back. His phone was busy. I expected that he will call me. But he did not. Wow.

Yesterday, I called him again. He picked up the call and said, I will cal you back. And, he did not.

I was in so much anger and pissed off. I will not call him and straight away going to tell him that you manage your work.

Being a close relative, it was their duty to call me back when they promised. Its actually an insult.

He called next day, at around 10. I did not pick his call. I thought of calling him next day. He called on Kanika's phone. 

He started by saying he came late from shop and his health was not good. So he couldn't call. I just said ok. He talked about somethings, I was just not interested in his talking. I just said ok, formality kind of. I wanted to make him realize that people do feel bad.

Pissed-off with Ankit

Since so many days, I wanted to call to few relatives and friends. I did not miss it today.

I called my BigB, and did a casual chit-chat. I did tell him the work going on in my flat. I also did talk to Bhabhi ji. I'm glad I did that. 

Next was Abhinav. I called him to close the website work that he was doing for Ankit. This time, I clearly conveyed my unhappiness over not attending the meeting on time that I fixed last time. I told him, I was unhappy with both of you. But, now its your responsibility to finish this, I'm not involved in this anymore. And, we did few technical chit-chat. It ended on good note.

It was Sachin's birthday (one of my old friend from YNR). I did not have his number, I messaged him on facebook and he gave me his number. I called him. It was a good feeling talking to him. Its been so many years. I remember, last time I talked to him regarding Tinu (who did took my money in wrong way). And, Sachin was also not helping me as he was living near to him. Anyway, I felt happy talking to him.

Next, I called Chacha ji. For first full or minute, he was just saying: "Aaj kaise kar liya". I just smiled, and wondering did you call? It also felt good talking to him. It was a regular chit-chat. He continuously told me I think you called me for some work, you did not call me just like that. I was like, come on. Its a usual call. It was also a good call.

I also called Ankit. He usually never called by himself (Very rarely). I called him just like that and to tell him that finish your website work fast. He picked my call and said that he will call later. And, he did not call that day, until now (next day). I was super angry to him because of that. He always does that, and thinks he is super busy in this world. Super non-professional. Actually, non-sense behavior.

Calls to relatives/friends after long time

OMG, I've been waiting for this since so many days.

Today was also another day, when the fabricator promised to deliver the railing. I went there at 3:30 in another hope. And, to see rest of the work going on in the flat.

The work was going in full swing, it is just that the whole house is in mess. Its all dirty, thanks to our contractor.

My eyes were all on the main gate, continuously searching for the railing. In few minutes, I saw lot of guards were looking at our flat. I was afraid, as what if they will again ask for FMG. I prayed so much at that time. I could see the guy was waiting for guards to give them clearance. I could see, the main guard talking to someone on phone. I was really afraid what if he will not allow now. I could see, he is shaking his head. May be on our railing, or on something else.

After about 5 mins, one of labour went down. The guy must have called him to come down. I was just continuously praying. I was watching the whole scene closely.

Fially, I could see the two labourers lifted the railing and entered in the premise. Oh, I was relaxed. Untill the railing could enter in the flat, I was in so much tension.

When it entered our flat. It was like, something precious thing coming. I wanted to touch it. 

Now, its all settled. But, now I'm worried about the installation. I hope they will not put any more issues in that.

I have to get premission for welding work tomorrow.

Finally the railing is inside

I was on the peak of break. I just couldn't handle Kanika.It was in the month of October/November 2020. Adobe has a service where we can talk to some professionals where we can discuss our personal problems.I mentioned that I have suicidal thoughts, in troubled marriage. Need assistance. We did setup a meeting time.So, for the first time, I was discussing my troubled marriage with someone unknown.It was a lady. She listened to some of my problems. I told her, its becoming untolerable, and because of kids I'm not able to think about divorce. I narrated her few instances.&nbsp;She advised me to take divorce. As, being in a bad relation will affect both of us, and kids will also be affected by our fights. She explained it well. And, I was 60% convinced. She told me that Kanika can also come and meet her either 1:1 or both of us with her.&nbsp;I came back home stressed. Next day, I had booked an office for single day, as it was becoming difficult for me to stay at home. In the morning, I told her straight away, that I discussed with a counsellor, and she advised to take divorce.Her face changed in a moment. When I told her, if you are going to be like this, we are separating. She started crying. I left.I thought, what a change. Few days back, how rudely she was behaving with me and was in favor of separation. <a href="https://www.lifeintext.com/journals/she-lost-all-my-respect-she-was-in-favor-of-separation">Read this</a>.&nbsp;&nbsp;I was really surprised that she is upset listening to this. As, few days back she was very comfortable.&nbsp;<h2>Evening, plan change</h2>As I came back from office. I was kind of charged my thought, again because of kids.I told her, I was restless. She said something. We again thought of mending our ways of living.

Meeting with a Counsellor regarding troubled marriage

Kanika was becoming unbearable day by day. We were coming from Bhavika's vaccination.
While returning, we fought back in car. She made me so much frstrated. I yelled.
She recorded my anger, said few words. Stop recording it. And said BC. Wow.
I again told about getting separated. She told that I will get all 50%, sab milta hai aajkal ladies ko. 1 bache ko tum rakh lena.

I was wondering, wow. She might have see some article on internet. But, she looked confident.&nbsp;
But, she lost all my respect. Whatever respect she had till that date. As, she always used to be very independent. Now, she is like a gold digger.
I said, now where is your self-dependence (Atma nirbharta)

She lost all my respect, she was in favor of separation

https://www.lifeintext.com/journals/my-promotion-to-senior-computer-scientist
So, I got promotion. I was too happy.
I reveal this news with Kanika, with so much excitement. And, guess what was her reaction.
She did not say Congrats.
She said:
"Tumhare yahan sahi hai, jaldi jaldi promotion ho jate hain. I was also having the dream of working in some office. I would also got promotion. I should also have joined IT. You guys get lot of salary."
I was like, come on. Now she is about to say me congrats. But No.
She conveyed her jealousy with me clearly.
I had to interrupt, and said. Ab Congrats to bol de.
Finally, she said Congrats. But I do not remember, she was constantly in some in other thoughts. I felt very bad.

Kanika was not happy with my promotion, can you believe it

After https://www.lifeintext.com/journals/omg-she-needs-weekend-to-fight.-i-had-to-raise-my-voice-to-stop-her,

How stupid we people are. I mean, marrying someone is the biggest decision of anyone's life. Its bigger than getting a job, bigger than getting a promotion, bigger than everything else. As you have to deal with it every single day.
If the The person to whom you are marrying, is the one you know or you love. Its heaven. Its not like love marriages doesn't end with divorce. But, at least its a decision that two people takes.
I'm feeling so trapped now, and terrible and frustrated. I agreed to marry a girl to whom I just met for an hour. That too, where I was just giving answers to her questions and probably asking some stupid questions. How come that one hour decide my entire life, for at least 50 years.
No, it can not decide that.
I've been married for 12 years, and as I grow more. I'm feeling like why I did take that decision.&nbsp;
<h2>The problem</h2>
We are not at all compatible. I do not want to bring the points that I hate about her. Its only about compatibility. We do not have anything in common. Our parents forced us and we agreed.
I did get golden chances to break our relation before marriage. How stupid I was. And, I did not discuss with anyone.
Its very important to have some close friends or at least someone to whom you share something personal. I never shared anything with anyone. Probably, that someone could force me not to marry this girl.
<h2>Why not leave now</h2>
I'm trapped with my beautiful kids. I just can not leave them. I know how wonderful our legal system is. She would take custody of at least one child. I can not live without anyone of them. Going away from my kids, makes me sad. There was a time, when I discussed with one of counsellor. And, she advised me to take divorce. As, its the best decision for my kids too. And, I almost decided. But, no. I melted.
I know, if I chose to live away from her. It would be the greatest decision of my life. In the end, its my life. And, what is the point, if I live it with full of sadness in life.
I do not talk to her much, and try to avoid almost any kind of conversation. She tried a lot to talk to me. I'm just so much fed up with her.
I can not discuss anything with her. I mean, we are not at all compatible. I never forced, or impose anything on her. She wants to be my boss every single time.
<h2>Thoughts</h2>
I don't think I will ever be take decision of going away from her. But, I do think about going away alone sometime, when my kids will go for higher studies or later.
I'm so successful today. But, what is the point when I'm not happy from inside.

Frustrated!

She is developing a new habit of fighting with Daksh. She constantly annoyed with Daksh. When he does't play, she complait about not playing. When he plays, she complained about how he plays. Come on, he is just 9 years old. And, she has so much expectations from him.
From last few nights, we constantly sleep after listening her abuses and anger. I was listening to some night meditation music, I couldn't as she didn't stop shouting on Daksh for unnecessary things. Daksh is naughty, but thats the way he is.
I feel very bad from Daksh's point of view. In the whole day, he had to listen a lot from her. I also shout on him. I remember, around 80% of the times, I shouted on Daksh because of her. I mean, I see he is playing. But as he makes noise. This irks her usually.
Today morning, he wake up. I do not know why she started shoutig on him again. And, it lasted untill I told her, what happened.&nbsp;
I asked her: What happened. He is our child. Why are you keep on yelling at him since night. Her reply, he is so annoying, doesn;t listen. Look at other kids, all are so smart and obidient. I stopped her, saying every child is unique. She just left. But she stopped after that (for few times)

Her constant fight with Daksh, so irritating for me

Its during a visit to our new flat. There is lot of civil work going on. And the contractor has made whole house a mess. I have talked to him regarding cleaning so many times.
And there was some confusion regarding tiles as well. Every single work is told by her. I had no role in that. Yesterday, there was some confusion in tiles. Today we saw it, and it was a mistake.&nbsp;
On returning, she started complaining about this. I told her, that every single thing is told by you. I have no role. If I'm saying yes to him that too after asking you. But no.
I told her to be calm so many times. But no.
We reached home. She started again, I know she is worried, but when I said I understand you and I will tell him. What else we can do.
She continuous yelled, some at me, some at him. I again told her to be calm, I'm also speaking in calm voice, why are you raising your voice. She said I'm like this only. WHich she usually said. To which, I said then I'm going. If you can't talk normally.
I had to leave her in another room to avoid her. She came again, this time full target on me. I said again, calm down. But no.
I raised my voice now. I was clearly frustrated. I told her, how many times I told you to stop, talk in lower voice, what is the problem. But no.
Once I raised my voice, then she went. And said, I will not do any work, you handle it.

I mean, come on. She does this everytime. And she is doing it repeated times. Since when we started work, she constantly giving this thing that she is the one handling all work. I appreciated her, but I found so many mistakes in her work. I appreciate that she has many contacts and we are getting some things at discounted price. But, when someone does not listen to others and keep self praising herself, what can I do.
There are so much work, that she did UNDO. I mean, contractor did something, and next day she said no it should be done like this. On the other hand, we are bothering about completing work on time, but are giving so many repeated tasks.&nbsp;

I'm very simple person. She is taking complete advantage of it. I know, I'm not that smart in handling people. But, thats the way I am. Nobody can be perfect in everything.&nbsp;

OMG, she needs weekend to fight. I had to raise my voice to stop her

We were out in market to buy tiles. We got late. Daksh is really helping us these days, by being brave and responsible. He agrees to remain at home along with Bhavika. She takes care of Bavika when she wake up.

Usually, Daksh do something that caused Bhavika to wake up early. Either by his TV or tablet sound.

In the meantime, Bhavika wake up and she did potty. Our dear Daksh helped her cleaning it. I remember its the second time, he did it. It was a big help.

Daksh helped Bhavika clean 

I don't know, how much I prayed GOD for this. I lost few of my sleep because of this. I regret my decision of buying this flat because of this.

Today, the guy promised that he will bring the railing. The main hurdle is that Jaypee guards should let it come in. Its the main hurdle. I'm in so much tension.

The fabricator guy is so useless that he refused even today. Come on. Its been so many days, I think around 15 days. I'm listening from Ramesh, that he promised today, now after 2 days, after 2 days. I warned Ramesh that I had a bad experience with the same guy. How can these people do their work.

Today Balcony should be fixed

I talked to him, and just wished him luck for future. I did to ask whether your business is to doing well, and bla-bla. I told him, you didn't meet before going. And wished him luck.

I was actually feeling bad for him, as people come to this city to fulfill their dreams. And, they were probably in bad financial conditions. Rahul mentioned this before, that his business is not doing well.

I also thought that people, do overspend, just for show-off. They were like this. If your financial condition is not good, then it is your responsibility to reduce your expenses, keep your kids in less expensive schools. But, no.

Rahul (Father of Harsh) Left Noida finally

Yesterday, Daksh and Bhavika wwere playing. Daksh, as usual, became extra energetic. And, I don't know what exactly they were doing, Bhavika got hurt by a sharp corner of almirah. And, it was blood. It was a sharp cut. She cried a lot. I took her, Kanika took her. She cried for almost half an hour. 

Kanika applied some medicine. Bhavika was demanding a thorough care throughout the day. We pampered her a lot. In afternoon, I brought some other medicine. Which did some wonders to her wound. I went to temple in evening with her. And, she was in my arms throughout the time, in temple. Although, we went on her cycle.

In night, the time to put some more medicine before sleep. She said, "Thik ho gaya". (Its all healed). Medicine is finished :)

Bhavika got hurt, little deep cut in her leg's finger

Today, Shivi called Kanika and did some chit-chat.

Shivi told her that her marriage is fixed in November. And, her brother Shubham who is in USA since last 4-5 years, can not come. Due to some VISA problem.

My philosophy of not going abroad got some backing from these incidents. I mean, what is the point if you can not come in the happy and sad times of your family. What is the point in earning money then.

Few months back, her both parents were admitted to hospital due to Covid. And, they were all alone wiwth tie daughter. What is the point!

Shivi marriage, and I think her brother cant attend her wedding

Kanika was talking to Harsh's mother about any play school for our daughter. She informed her that they are going to Jaipur, and leaving Noida. He is joining a company. He was doing a business here, and it might not working well.

Rahul (Father of Harsh) is leaving Noida

https://www.lifeintext.com/journals/its-a-headache-since-we-bought-the-flat

I was almost restless throughout the day about the railing. Today was the day, railing has to come. I talked to Ramesh, our contractor, and he said it will come by 3. 

I did my lunch, and go straight there. I waited till 4:30, and asked again. He called the guy who was making railing. He said, it will come in 2 days. I was furious over him. I said, why are you keepig me in false promise, didn't you talk to him. he gave me some excuse.

Waiting for railing to come 

Today was my time for getting second dose of vaccination. It was scheduled at 12:30 in my office. I went, and it was smooth except the guy at counter was not finding my records for 1st dose.

Lets see, if I will get any fever or not.